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Sunday November 17th 2019

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Hobbes in the House: Men abuse women because they can

By DWIGHT HOBBES

You can find all kinds of think-tank rationalization as to why men beat women.  You can, as well, find study upon as study as to why Black women are killed by Black men at a rate almost three times higher than the death rate at which White women are killed by domestic violence.  Among the “reasons” cited are things like abusive men being, themselves, victims.  Victims of, for instance, low self-esteem.  Poor role modeling.  Cultural conditioning.  Alcoholism.  There are other excuses, but these will do as a general frame of reference.

Importantly, you can find respected professionals who come up with such causes for men battering and killing their wives and girlfriends.  I went looking on the Internet and almost immediately came across an article in that highly regarded monthly magazine Ebony.  The article by Marchel’le Renise Barber reads, “Dr. Nathan Hare, a clinical psychologist and sociologist in private practice in San Francisco, sees common traits among men who batter women. He says while abusive men are found in all races and socioeconomic groups, most Black male abusers are jealous, insecure and are attempting to imitate the classic ‘street pimp’ playing a ‘mind game’ with the women by showing a loving and warm side to sustain interest – then inflicting pain. Other abusive men are imitating their fathers or their mothers’ boyfriends and convince themselves that women expect abuse. ‘These men see their manhood as their ability to control women who are out of control’ says Dr. Hare, who adds that many male abusers have been victimized themselves.”  In that same article is the statement, “Due to alcoholism, low self-esteem, a lack of ethnic pride and a sense of helplessness in supporting their families, Black men have been reported as being more likely to be abusive toward Black women, says psychiatrist Dr. Carl Bell.”

I’m not trying to pick on Marchel’le Renise Barber.  I’m not trying to ridicule Ebony.  There are plenty of journalists and plenty of publications citing similar circumstance. 

None of which hold very much water. There comes a point in time at which you have to go with simple common sense over even the most scholarly information.  Accordingly, while low self-esteem, cultural conditioning and drink-induced short fuses are not imaginary ailments, looking at them does not cut to the core of why men abuse women.  And, frankly, color, race, ethnicity or, for that matter, the moon rising in Aquarius don’t have a single thing to do with it. 

Men beat women because they can get away with it and you don’t have to be a clinician with a string of letters after your name to figure that out.  I can prove it to you with a very basic line of reasoning, a hypothetical example F. Lee Bailey, William Kunstler and Johnnie Cochrane all put together couldn’t debunk. 

Here’s the scenario.  A woman is cowed against a wall, shrinking away from her man who is advancing on her, scowling in rage, fist balled, about to whup her butt yet one more time.  No matter how pitifully she cries out for him to stop, no matter how she begs, he keeps closing the distance between them and is just about to punch her lights out.  Do you have the picture in your head?  Okay, now, imagine she suddenly turns into man bigger and stronger than him who, if he so much as thinks about hitting, will tear him a brand new ass.  How much would you care to wager that he doesn’t somehow lift himself above his low self-esteem to put his anger in serious check?  How much do you want to bet he finds himself capable of transcending his cultural condition?  That, no matter how much he has had to drink, he doesn’t suddenly get sober as a judge?  There’s a reason he doesn’t have any more self control than to beat her bloody from one end of the house to the other, yet, when the police show up, he lets them put the handcuffs on and lead him out the door, off the jail.  He knows if he even thinks about hitting one of those cops they will all stomp a mudhole in his behind.

We cannot afford to risk women’s lives by sympathizing with their abusers.  Never mind this and that diagnosis of some social malady.  Men beat women because women can’t kick their asses for them. Regardless of what Dr. So-and-So pontificates, men accordingly have to be held accountable.  Period, end of story.

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