for Mom
PART I/II
By SHELIA BLAND
We gave up a relative
To the status quo
Not voluntarily, of course
–When you say “we” what do you mean, exactly?
Well, I wasn’t there.
No one was there really.
We aren’t guilty in that sense.
–Then what are we talking about?
We are not guilty
None the less, we are all responsible
–All responsible?
Yes, all responsible.
–But no one can give testimony, because
no one was there…
We cannot give testimony, no.
But we must bear witness…
It was sometime
One time
Anytime.
In any case, it was a past event.
Yesterday—
Last year—
Last century….
Yet, I can assure you
It happened.
We were rule followers
We got along
We got ahead
This was true
Yesterday—
Last year—
Last century.
We were not of the one percent
Barely of the ninety-nine percent—
More like the zero percent.
This was true
Yesterday—
Last year—
Last century.
We were the servants
We were the sharecroppers
We were the enslaved
We were the prep crew–
The cleanup crew—
The salvage crew—
The sewage crew—
We did the dirty work—
Work others disdained to do.
We were rule followers
We got along
We got ahead
We did the meanest of chores
We got along
We got ahead
We moved up the menial ladder
From fieldwork
To house work
We followed the rules—
And helped keep the system in place.
A system systemically
Working contrary to our favor.
We did this for our lovers
For our friends
For our family
For our children.
It’s the children most
You see—
That they may have a future.
We trained the children
To follow the rules
To get along
To get ahead.
We wanted our children
To survive, you see.
To have a future—
To have a life.
The children…
The children…
This is a hard story to tell…
But though we cannot testify
We were not there, you know.
We must bear witness…
We must bear witness….
So that the children
Could be spared the fieldwork,
And start out doing house work
So that the children might have
A less harsh life than their parents–
We diligently apprenticed them—
Taught them as kids
To do the house work meticulously-
As the masters
The bosses
The rulers—
The others
Would have it.
So the children would need no training
When they became old enough to work
But could step right into our places
In the work of the house
With no training necessary from
The masters
The Bosses,
The Rulers—
The others.
We thought this was a good plan
To be rule followers
To get along
To get ahead
We thought it would
Protect the children—
Help the children survive—
Have a life less painful
Than our own.
It was in this vain
That Kiziah, age 9
Was taken by her
Mother, each day
To the big house—
The house of the others—
To learn how to speak to the others
To learn how to dress
How to prepare foods
How to set the table
To learn how to serve the food to the others.
How to pour the drinks,
To learn how to behave
As the others ate the food.
How to remain silent,
Even when spoken to,
At the table.
How to have no expression
No matter what was said or done
By the others.
How to clean up after the others
When they were done eating the food…
These were just a few of the things
Kiziah had to learn
Some things quite difficult for a nine year old—
Not laughing, not talking—
But the mother was determined
To give Kiziah a place in
This system that would
Be somewhat easier than
The path the mother
Traveled to enter this big house—
The house of the others.
She was strict and stern
With Kiziah.
She meant for her to learn—
to be so expert
At these chores that
No one else
could be considered for them.
This way of training the children
Was true
Yesterday
Last year
Last century.
Kiziah’s mother
Is all of us.
We would all have done the same.
We would praise Kiziah’s mother
For her efforts.
We would praise Kiziah
For how quickly she learned.
We would have done so
Yesterday—
Last year—
Last century,
To follow the rules,
To get along.
To get ahead.
We are all responsible
Though, we are not guilty.
We were not there, you see.
But we must bear witness.
For the children…
After being grilled, tested, and chastised
Day in and day out
For just under three years
Kiziah had perfected the training.
She was close to turning 12 years old
And could do most of the house work as
Well as her mother.
She knew recipes, processes, procedures,
Behaviors, manners.
She had learned the likes, dislikes,
Quirks, kindnesses and meanness’s
Of the Others.
You might say she had developed
A certain amount of expertise—
A certain “skills set”.
An anticipation of the desires of the others
Before the others made the request.
She could interpret a look, a ges- ture,
And satisfy the request with no words
Necessary in the transaction.
Her mother was very proud of her.
We all were.
She would be one of the children
Who would survive…
Who would live.
Who would escape the fields—
Escape the elements,
Natural and man-made—
The harshness of these elements
Suffered by those who
Could not escape the fields.
We were all proud.
We all encouraged it.
We were all responsible
We were NOT guilty.
We were not there
But we were all responsible.
Now Kiziah worked alongside
Her mother at the house work
For big events.
When the others had guests
When the others had parties
When the others gave balls.
Kiziah was now given responsi- bilities,
Not merely following behind her mother.
She was becoming a rule follower.
She got along.
She got ahead.
She was moving up the menial ladder.
Following the rules
Getting along
Getting ahead
And helping to keep the system in place.
A system that systematically
Worked against her.
Worked against us all.
Yet we all did as we taught
Kiziah to do.
We are all responsible.
We are not guilty—we were not there.
I, was not there.
We cannot testify
But we must bear witness
For the children—
For Kiziah….
Well, then, let us bear witness.
The dishes were in preparation
The table set
The furniture rearranged
The crystal cleaned
The silver polished
The flowers placed
The floors shined
Everything was set for the eve- ning’s event.
The mother had worked particu- larly hard
To see that everything was
as the others would have it.
Kiziah had worked extra hard to please her mother—
So that her mother could see
How well she had learned.
How skilled she had become.
Kiziah was pleased—
The mother was pleased.
Both were pleased the others were pleased.
The mother and her daughter
Pleased the others
They followed the rules.
They got along.
They got ahead.
We would have felt the same.
Having pleased the others
We too, would have been pleased.
We would have praised them.
They were succeeding
At following the rules
Getting along
Getting ahead.
Now was the time for the
Mother and daughter to clean up themselves,
Put on fresh servant’s uniforms
To be presentable for the evening’s
Festivities.
Both the mother and Kiziah
Knew the routine well
Knew exactly what was expected of them.
Both were moving towards the allotted area
To make the change
When a blip in the routine occurred.
Just a blip.
It appeared to be only a blip.
One of the others,
Stopped them.
It was an older, senior one.
One with more authority.
Perhaps he wanted to give them
Last minute changes to the plans.
The mother stopped willingly.
Kiziah stopped willingly.
“We can get along without two
this evening.
Just leave Kiziah.
You go home.”
“Just leave Kiziah—
You go home…???”
Kiziah was 12 years old.
She certainly was not
The head of household chores—
The mother was…
Just a blip, was more than a blip.
To leave the child to do an adult’s work,
When there were guests and no room
For mistakes…
The child could freeze up on her own
Make a mistake—
Undo all the hard-earned
Mastery she had achieved—
In one evening.
If this happened,
Kiziah would not pay the cost alone.
The mother would be held respon- sible
For failing to do a better job
Of training the child.
Kiziah and the mother, both could be
Demoted to the fields.
To the fields….
The dilemma is real.
One does not reason with the others—
One obeys.
We would all have done the same.
We follow the rules.
To follow the rules, is to obey.
We get along
To get along is to obey.
We get ahead
There is no other path open
to getting ahead.
Kiziah, at 12 years old
Would succeed at the task
And improve the standing
Of both herself and her mother
Or she would fail
And both mother and daughter
Would be demoted to the
Harsh life of the fields.
So much responsibility
On the shoulders of a child.
The mother followed the creed—
To be a rule follower
To get along—
Hopefully they would both get ahead.
Obey was the only path.
We would all have taken that path.
…CONTINUED in PART II in AUGUST…
